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I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

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DumbassDude

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Post Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:35 pm

I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

I wrote this story one night while I was chilling in Stickam with a few regulars; this is when BBS stories weren't greatly frowned upon. This story may be a bit too silly for a lot of you, but regardless, it is something I wrote and I got some pretty positive feedback in the thread;
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1079343


The title may have you thinking. "Pack of cats? 2 or 3? Pussy." But I have no idea what a pack of cats qualifies as, if you're wondering the exact number, I would say perhaps a dozen. This shit goes deep, it wasn't just me, it was me and my 3 mates Paul, Cassandra and Josh.

We were walking down a dark narrow path on a way down from the local riverside; we were doing our usual shit, consisting mainly on fingering each others bum holes and inflicting harm on ourselves using bleach and sandpaper. Cassandra heard a cat hiss and jumped next to moa, me being a sexual deviant I quickly tore her shirt off and fondled her perky breasts. She pushed me off, I hit the wall and a cat fell into my arms, an injured cute little cat with a shaggy ginger coat and beautiful green eyes.
We gathered around the cat and petted it and checked its wounds, Paul being a weird motherfucker, began to masturbate viciously while rubbing his face in the cat’s vagina like a street cleaner buffing a marble floor. She clawed Paul, I was honestly surprised.

The cat jumped out of my arms and whistled, before I could punch Cassandra in the mouth for fun, 15 cats popped out from every angle and began to circle us. Josh began to tear his hair in frustration while eating McNuggets, why? Because he is a fat fucker. The head cat, which I titled Condor, walked up to my feet and said.

"Good evening Human, despite my refined appearance, I am a rather witty and nefarious cat, swar swar."

"What do you want Condor? My life? My soul...?" I replied in an ejaculative manner.

"No human, not yet anyhow..." He retorted sexually. "I have come for the amulet."
I hadn't a clue what he was talking about, none of us had amulets of any sort, but out of pride, boredom and sexual flusteredness, I replied.

"No Condor, you shall not walk away with the power that I possess."

"Very well human, prepare to die... Swar swar..."

The cats gathered into a group and began to climb upon each other; I stood strong as Cassandra stood next to me. Paul was being of no use as he aggressively tugged on his balls and Josh was punching a brick wall. The cats formed a megazord, it was huge and they stood at least 12 feet and Condors head stuck out at the centre. His stare was mesmerising but I didn't let his magic triumph over my mind. They lunged at is striking from all angles, it was very difficult to dodge and endure, but I stood proud. 30 seconds in and Josh had been killed, disgustingly and without hesitation, his entrails hung from condors mouth. Cassandra turned into a butterfly and cast confusion, it was super effective, I responded by kicking Condor in the face and fighting as best I could. Paul was nowhere to be seen, the cunt.

The fight lasted for 63 hours and I began to grow tired of their games and unleashed a fury of powerful drop kicks and hadoukens, but the cats just wiped the hurt off and pursued us further. One cat jumped from the megazord and clawed Cassandra’s tits off, I screamed in great terror and anger; I then grabbed the cat and rapidly punched the cat to death while Cassandra fought off the kitty megazord with her hyperbeamz... She paralyzed the beast for a short while, but she was weak.

"Lee, you must save me, only then can we defeat Condor, together." She said with mighty lust.

"I can't, I am not a level 50 Priest, and I don't have the ability to heal you with such grave injuries." I spurted with great upset.

We gazed into each other's bloodshot, tear soaked eyes for what seemed like a life time, her left wrist fell to the floor and I feared the worst... She then raised her right wrist and pointed towards her vagina, coincidental or not, I took it as a sign. I grabbed her torso and flung her destructively towards the solid concrete path, blood spued from all directions of her head and back. I ripped her pants off to reveal her soaking, bathed pussy drenching a thong. I tore the thong off and pulled out my cock and plunged my dangly bastard into her pitch black nightmare. The juices and blood were flinging back into my face, but I was too distracted by her incredibly tight pussy.
5 hours passed and she had died from sexual exhaustion and loss of blood and organs, I fucked her into a somewhat tenderised pulp. Condor and his minions broke free of their paralysed states and formed once again, but I was tired and weak, I reached my limit, I was finished. Little did I know Paul was behind them with a spirit bomb.

"Oy, furry cunt!" He screamed in a grotesque horny squeal. "Looks like we have reached the end of the feline."

He sank the bomb into Condors face, his head warped into a warp of dust, he was vanquished and so were his minions. Unfortunately, this cost Paul his life, but I didn't really give a fuck. I then went home in a state, had some Salmon for tea, played some GH3 and came onto the BBS.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So, tell me what you think :)
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SlntCobra1

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Post Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:16 pm

Re: I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

:shock: :shock: :shock: :? :? :? :o :o :o :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I.....what is this......I don't even.....what!?

Seriously, that sounds like something an incredibly frustrated sexual deviant would write. Toss in a side of psychosis and bloodlust, you've got a massive red flag. No offense dude, but that is really really pushing the envelope.
95% of teens would cry if the Jonas brothers were about to jump off of a 10 story building. I'm one of the 5% who would bring popcorn and invite friends.
CLICK MAH SIG!!!!
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DumbassDude

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Post Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:20 pm

Re: I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

I like to push the envelope, it adds to the fun.
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ByteSlinger

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Post Sun Jul 25, 2010 4:50 pm

Re: I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

How many times have I told you not to drop acid while visiting the animal hospital? Dude, you may need some serious therapy.

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm all for a little deviancy now and then - but sex with a talking cat? Come on - that's just preposterous!

Everyone knows cats can't talk....good thing, too!!! hehehehehe...... :twisted:
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EagleRock

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Post Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:12 pm

Re: I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

ByteSlinger wrote:How many times have I told you not to drop acid while visiting the animal hospital? Dude, you may need some serious therapy.


I never understood what people got out of dropping acid. I do it ALL the time, and it just seems like a routine to me...nothing special. I mean, tossing a couple of spent AA's into the garbage can doesn't give me a high at all.

...Wait...we're talking about the same thing, right?
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ByteSlinger

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Post Sun Jul 25, 2010 8:23 pm

Re: I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

EagleRock wrote:
ByteSlinger wrote:How many times have I told you not to drop acid while visiting the animal hospital? Dude, you may need some serious therapy.


I never understood what people got out of dropping acid. I do it ALL the time, and it just seems like a routine to me...nothing special. I mean, tossing a couple of spent AA's into the garbage can doesn't give me a high at all.

...Wait...we're talking about the same thing, right?



You have reached a new level of geekness with that remark, young man.

You take 10 HP of damage, and your street cred drops to -7.
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DumbassDude

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Post Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:53 pm

Re: I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

It wasn't acid that inspired my adventures, oh no, expired mayonnaise. Seriously, check the expiration date before making sandwiches with mayo.

Yeah, the mayonnaise on that LSD sandwich just sent me doo-lally.
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ByteSlinger

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Post Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:20 pm

Re: I fought a pack of cats! BBS Story

DumbassDude wrote:It wasn't acid that inspired my adventures, oh no, expired mayonnaise. Seriously, check the expiration date before making sandwiches with mayo.

Yeah, the mayonnaise on that LSD sandwich just sent me doo-lally.



Yeah, it was expired mayonnaise on week-old rye bread , filled with Hormel Spam, Velveeta Cheese, some hot sauce and a few peyote mushrooms for flavor. If you didn't throw it up, it was the best ride of your life! :lol:
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