The EGB Darwin Awards Thread
Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 3:58 am
Okay, for the most part, we're all pretty intelligent people here in the EGB. But every once in a while, one of us - or one of our loved ones - will do something so incredibly stupid that it may defy explanation. I am starting this thread because I just got off the phone with my sister (she works nights and gets home at this ungodly hour) who told me she got cut on a bagel today. I told her she must have been holding the bagel in her hand when she ran the knife through it, and that was careless.
She told me: "No, I didn't get cut on the knife. The bagel cut me."
Now, I'm staring at the phone, trying to figure out how a ROUND piece of smooth bread could cut someone. All I could ask was "Did you say you cut yourself on the bagel?"
A sheepish voice replies, "Yes. Yes I did."
I'm dumbfounded - but I have to hear how this happened. "Care to explain to me how a dull, rounded bagel cut you? Did they substitute glass shards for poppy seed all of a sudden?"
"No, it happened like this: I cut the bagel in half, no problem. I even put butter on it, and placed it in the toaster oven to melt the butter and crisp it up a little bit. When I took it out, it smelled so good - the butter was all melted, and the bagel was nice and crispy on the edges. But one of the edges had been cut thin, and when it crisped up, it became hard and sharp. I never once suspected that the edge of a cooked bagel could become sharp as a knife. When I picked it up to eat it, I turned it around in my hand first to get to the extra-buttery part - and in the process of rotating it, the sharp edge caught the skin between my thumb and forefinger, and cut me like a paper cut!"
"You're making this up, right?"
"No - check your phone." - she took a picture of the cut on her hand and sent it to me. It really happened. You just can't make this shit up!
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So, with this as our first Darwin failure, anyone else have something to add? We could use a chuckle or two!
She told me: "No, I didn't get cut on the knife. The bagel cut me."
Now, I'm staring at the phone, trying to figure out how a ROUND piece of smooth bread could cut someone. All I could ask was "Did you say you cut yourself on the bagel?"
A sheepish voice replies, "Yes. Yes I did."
I'm dumbfounded - but I have to hear how this happened. "Care to explain to me how a dull, rounded bagel cut you? Did they substitute glass shards for poppy seed all of a sudden?"
"No, it happened like this: I cut the bagel in half, no problem. I even put butter on it, and placed it in the toaster oven to melt the butter and crisp it up a little bit. When I took it out, it smelled so good - the butter was all melted, and the bagel was nice and crispy on the edges. But one of the edges had been cut thin, and when it crisped up, it became hard and sharp. I never once suspected that the edge of a cooked bagel could become sharp as a knife. When I picked it up to eat it, I turned it around in my hand first to get to the extra-buttery part - and in the process of rotating it, the sharp edge caught the skin between my thumb and forefinger, and cut me like a paper cut!"
"You're making this up, right?"
"No - check your phone." - she took a picture of the cut on her hand and sent it to me. It really happened. You just can't make this shit up!
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So, with this as our first Darwin failure, anyone else have something to add? We could use a chuckle or two!